Funk

So, I'm in a bit of life funk. Usually, I am too busy to have the time to reflect that I am in a funk, but law school is over and so all bets are off. First, I am not happy with my job. I dont feel I am part of a team. I feel like I am trying to change an entire culture all by myself. On top of that, I should be happy bc just last week I got a big raise without even having to ask for one, but as I've mentioned in my previous blogs: despite my best efforts to the contrary a lot of things come down to comparisons. A new co-worker of mine is younger than me, less experienced than me, and less educated than me and makes $26,000 more than me. For whatever reason, it bugs me to the core. The funny thing is that my salary never really bothered me until I found out what everyone else was making (just one of the perks for working for the government-most salaries are public). I almost wish I didnt know. On top of that, three people told me today, "I don't know how you do it." The answer: I don't know either.

Next, I am not happy with my living situation. I live in a decent apartment that has become less decent in the past few months. There are mysterious stains all over the hallway. I have a creepy neighbor with one roving eye who stalks me and apparently doesnt clean up after his multiple cats bc you can smell them from my apt (even with the door shut). I wake up to shouts of "chug, chug, chug" from my bedroom window every football Saturday. I could go on and on.... Now, I know what you're thinking, don't bitch, switch. I looked into other apartments but they are twice as expensive and many are not as big as my current place. Plus, if I move I want to get a dog and I cant seem to find a nice place that allows them. Moving is always the pits and who wants to deal with the hassle of forwarding mail, setting up internet, etc.

Finally, I am not happy with my spouse situation... mainly I have something called an 'absentee husband.' My husband travels 80% of the year. We mostly see each other on the weekends. I acknowledge that we make a trade-off. Namely, my husband could quit his job and easily get a job here in Madison... but we would take a significant pay-cut not to mention that the long-term career prospects would not be as good.

So, in looking back at my dissatisfaction with my job, home, and husband, I can see why I am in a major funk. So major in fact that I almost adopted a little dog last week. You know you're in a bad place when shopping doesnt even do the trick.