Your wedding is supposed to be the most romantic day of your life, right?
Let me tell you about how my beautiful day ended.
The culprit in this story is Hyatt...
We decided to reserve a hotel block at the Hyatt. It was newly renovated, had couches in all the rooms-just lovely. The deal was that if our guests book a certain number of rooms, we will get a free room and free shuttle to and from the reception hall. I thought to myself-this is going to be awesome. We will encourage all of our friends to drink responsibly by staying at the hotel and taking the shuttle to and from the hall. We easily met the required number of rooms.
The wedding was great. After a brief face-off with the DJ, we gather up all of our gifts and head for the hotel... only no shuttle. 15 minutes go by and still no shuttle. 30 min. I call-nothing.
After 1 hour we finally arrive at said Hyatt hotel via extremely late shuttle. While I managed to fight off bridezilla tendencies up until this point, that quickly flew out the window as I stormed the front desk and demanded to know what took so long. The scared girl behind the counter says, "Ma'am we're really sorry. We have another wedding party tonight and we are having a hard time keeping them under control." I look to my right and I see said wedding party boozing in the lobby. I storm off to the left only to slip... on a pile of vomit.
But it gets better.... Fortunately, I have cat-like reflexes that kept me from tumbling into the vomit.... Unfortunately, one of my wedding guests smells the vomit, and vomits herself right next to moi, said bride(zilla).
I don't notice that said wedding guest has vomited on herself and I immediately go on a tyraid, saying that doing vomiting in public is "trashy" and that disgusting (which I still firmly believe-come on people-make it to a bathroom!)... all in presence of said wedding guest.
I take off my vomit stained dress and head to bed. One week later, I work up the courage to get the dress cleaned. I cant bare to say the words to my trusted dry cleaner, so I pass a note that says, "the stain on the bottom of my dress is vomit." It was as if I passed a robbery note at a bank. I later attempt to clarify that it is not my vomit, but the damage was done. I got the look-you know the one that people give you when they think you vomited on your own wedding dress. Yeah-did I mention they have to hand-clean all of their wedding dresses?
How romantic!
-Djo Djo
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Target: An Avid Consumer's Reflection in Three Parts
The Good:
Oh, Target. How I love thee. You are always there when I need to wander aimlessly with a cherry slushy and comparison shop for grout cleaner. You provide every essential for that new hobby I didn't know I just couldn't wait to start. When I get the itch to redecorate, you're always there with suggestions at a reasonable price. When things couldn't get better, you go and out do yourself with Target Greatland. Now, not only can I buy more than one single girl could every need of paper goods, Isaac Mizrahi clothing, and potting soil-- I can get my groceries too! Just when the excitement of Target Greatland began to wear off, you introduced the Dollar Spot and knocked me off my feet. It's like you read my mind when I was searching endlessly for Cinqo de Mayo themed tiki torches. And for that, I want to thank you.
The Bad:
While you were an innovator in the returns department when you introduced the 'receipt look-up' using the credit card used to purchase, your success stopped there. Why, why, why? Why do you make online customer print out another receipt from their online account? Why can't I walk into a store to return an online purchase and receive the 'no questions asked' service I have come to expect from your competitors and contemporaries? It is a nuisance at best and the straw that broke the camel's back at worst. I have seen many a customer 'lose their shit' on your customer service representatives because of the hoops that you make us, your loyal customers, jump through. Do you not reciprocate our un-dying devotion and admiration? Does our business not keep the lights on and the employees paid?
The Ugly:
I bought seven silver clutches for Djo-djo's recent nuptials for the Bridesmaids. While I was more than happy to do my duty, Target has made things horrendously difficult. I bought the clutches online (first mistake) and had them shipped to her. They didn't quite work for the wedding and, alas, had to be returned. Attempts were made in-person to make this return, online, and through the US Postal Service. Finally, it was time to use the phone. They assured me that the return was processed and that it was my creditor's fault for not returning my money. The weinus that I spoke to neglected to tell me that Target made the executive decision to give my online account a credit instead of my credit card. (Note: they didn't even credit my account for the total) Is Target so desperate for business that they manipulate returns to keep the revenue in house? Pathetic. When I called and corrected this situation, I only received a credit of 50 bucks and the other 50 (please note the total was over 100) was being held by the 'Fraud Investigation Team' for review. ARE YOU FING KIDDING ME? Yes, that's right, I am attempting to rip-off Target and am willing to deal with their UN-TRAINED, INCOMPETENT customer 'service' reps to do so. Puh-leese.
Final Plea:
Come back to me Target. The boycott hasn't even begun and I miss you immensely. Saturday errands will be lonely without but like any good consumer, I will soldier on. Stop treating me like I am out to get you and respect the fact that I spend my hard-earned pay check (sadly, sometimes all of it) in your stores. I promise to do my part and cease online shopping until you can pull yourself together. Please do yours and celebrate your customer instead of treating them like you are doing them a favor.
-Luci
Oh, Target. How I love thee. You are always there when I need to wander aimlessly with a cherry slushy and comparison shop for grout cleaner. You provide every essential for that new hobby I didn't know I just couldn't wait to start. When I get the itch to redecorate, you're always there with suggestions at a reasonable price. When things couldn't get better, you go and out do yourself with Target Greatland. Now, not only can I buy more than one single girl could every need of paper goods, Isaac Mizrahi clothing, and potting soil-- I can get my groceries too! Just when the excitement of Target Greatland began to wear off, you introduced the Dollar Spot and knocked me off my feet. It's like you read my mind when I was searching endlessly for Cinqo de Mayo themed tiki torches. And for that, I want to thank you.
The Bad:
While you were an innovator in the returns department when you introduced the 'receipt look-up' using the credit card used to purchase, your success stopped there. Why, why, why? Why do you make online customer print out another receipt from their online account? Why can't I walk into a store to return an online purchase and receive the 'no questions asked' service I have come to expect from your competitors and contemporaries? It is a nuisance at best and the straw that broke the camel's back at worst. I have seen many a customer 'lose their shit' on your customer service representatives because of the hoops that you make us, your loyal customers, jump through. Do you not reciprocate our un-dying devotion and admiration? Does our business not keep the lights on and the employees paid?
The Ugly:
I bought seven silver clutches for Djo-djo's recent nuptials for the Bridesmaids. While I was more than happy to do my duty, Target has made things horrendously difficult. I bought the clutches online (first mistake) and had them shipped to her. They didn't quite work for the wedding and, alas, had to be returned. Attempts were made in-person to make this return, online, and through the US Postal Service. Finally, it was time to use the phone. They assured me that the return was processed and that it was my creditor's fault for not returning my money. The weinus that I spoke to neglected to tell me that Target made the executive decision to give my online account a credit instead of my credit card. (Note: they didn't even credit my account for the total) Is Target so desperate for business that they manipulate returns to keep the revenue in house? Pathetic. When I called and corrected this situation, I only received a credit of 50 bucks and the other 50 (please note the total was over 100) was being held by the 'Fraud Investigation Team' for review. ARE YOU FING KIDDING ME? Yes, that's right, I am attempting to rip-off Target and am willing to deal with their UN-TRAINED, INCOMPETENT customer 'service' reps to do so. Puh-leese.
Final Plea:
Come back to me Target. The boycott hasn't even begun and I miss you immensely. Saturday errands will be lonely without but like any good consumer, I will soldier on. Stop treating me like I am out to get you and respect the fact that I spend my hard-earned pay check (sadly, sometimes all of it) in your stores. I promise to do my part and cease online shopping until you can pull yourself together. Please do yours and celebrate your customer instead of treating them like you are doing them a favor.
-Luci
I just lost my wallet at Starbucks and it wasnt under the napkin dispenser
So let me open by saying I dont know if I can contribute to the drowning franchise that is Starbucks any longer. The customer service has gotten so poor that I have run out of Starbucks to patronize in a 3 mile radius from work and have taken to playing with Russian Roulette with the few I will still enter.
Background: I get back to work from my daily Starbucks run and realize that I am sans wallet.
I get there and my wallet is no where to be seen. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum behind the counter insist that no one has turned anything in. The male Tweedle goes so far as to say 'You sure were gripping it like you thought I was gonna take it' to which I promptly roll my eyes. The female Tweedle comes over to check under the napkin dispenser for me. I sure am glad she was there to do the heavy lifting. Some customers over hear my conversation and add that some lady in a fuscia top walked around looking for the owner of the wallet. I look at the Tweedles who are shocked as they had no clue this happened. The female Tweedle adds that I should check with the police department because maybe this mystery person turned it in there. They then 'go the extra mile' and ask the barista if anyone has turned anything in. I look over to my right and what do you know, there is a lady in a fuscia top. I approach and ask if she's happened to see a wallet and she and another lady (having over heard the entire conversation they are clearly frustrated for me by the incompetence of the Tweedles) tell me that the lady walking around with it, WORKED THERE. I almost broke my neck snapping it around to launch my most violent death stare at my new foes. The male Tweedle quickly scurries behind the counter and asks, who else but the "boss," who has been (as he put it) 'keeping it safe' all along.
I'm not high-maintenance, really. I just want my iced-venti-no water-extra roomy-Americano and I want to leave (with my wallet).
-Luci
Background: I get back to work from my daily Starbucks run and realize that I am sans wallet.
I get there and my wallet is no where to be seen. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum behind the counter insist that no one has turned anything in. The male Tweedle goes so far as to say 'You sure were gripping it like you thought I was gonna take it' to which I promptly roll my eyes. The female Tweedle comes over to check under the napkin dispenser for me. I sure am glad she was there to do the heavy lifting. Some customers over hear my conversation and add that some lady in a fuscia top walked around looking for the owner of the wallet. I look at the Tweedles who are shocked as they had no clue this happened. The female Tweedle adds that I should check with the police department because maybe this mystery person turned it in there. They then 'go the extra mile' and ask the barista if anyone has turned anything in. I look over to my right and what do you know, there is a lady in a fuscia top. I approach and ask if she's happened to see a wallet and she and another lady (having over heard the entire conversation they are clearly frustrated for me by the incompetence of the Tweedles) tell me that the lady walking around with it, WORKED THERE. I almost broke my neck snapping it around to launch my most violent death stare at my new foes. The male Tweedle quickly scurries behind the counter and asks, who else but the "boss," who has been (as he put it) 'keeping it safe' all along.
I'm not high-maintenance, really. I just want my iced-venti-no water-extra roomy-Americano and I want to leave (with my wallet).
-Luci
Monday, September 22, 2008
L'elephant francais
Its finally time... a blog between friends has been born.
What? Two twenty-something bff's take the world by storm and share every detail with you.
Who? We're choosing to remain somewhat annoymous. 1 is a married lawyer from Madison, WI and the other is a single gal working and living in downtown Chicago.
Why? Why not. I've always wanted to write a book about life's little adventures. Blogging is the next best thing.
What? Two twenty-something bff's take the world by storm and share every detail with you.
Who? We're choosing to remain somewhat annoymous. 1 is a married lawyer from Madison, WI and the other is a single gal working and living in downtown Chicago.
Why? Why not. I've always wanted to write a book about life's little adventures. Blogging is the next best thing.
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