How to get out of the funk... write a novel

I went home this weekend to IL for my sister's bachelorette party. This morning I was sitting around with my mom... I asked her about a recent situation that was troubling her. For those of you that don't know, both of my parents are immigrants. My mom has worked for a very wealthy family for almost 25 years. She used to take care of their house, kids, watch their dog when they went to Florida for the winter, etc. They are almost in their 90's so now she has been helping out a lot more. She makes their meals, does their groceries, etc.

Recently, my parents brought land in Canada adjoining the land owned by this wealthy family. The wealthy family purchased an easement on my parents property to get to their property, which previously was only accessible by boat. Well, as with many things that involve mixing "family" and money, shit hit the fan. My parents found out that the easement was not to give access to their one home, but that they planned on splitting their lot into several parcels and selling it for a major profit.

My mom was so upset by the whole thing that she spilled her guts to them, asking how they could take advantage of an immigrant that has done nothing but help them for 25 years. It brought back a lot of painful memories.... Here she is....the person named on their living will, the person that they call when they're in the hospital.... only to be taken advantage of bc the wealthy family wants to leave more money to their children when they pass (the children that don't call visit, write, etc. but always manage to cash their 50K Christmas checks.) The details are far too complex, but I turned to my mom and said, You should really write a novel, about this, about how you came to America and the struggles that you faced, etc. She thought it was a great idea. After so many years she finally felt free and all of these stories started to come out. Stories about how this family would brag about donating tens of thousands of dollars to scholarship foundations, knowing all the while that their immigrant caretaker's own children had to take on thousands of dollars worth of student debt. She went on and on....

I think its prime time to whip out that Rhetoric degree that I have not used in so many years. Since it is national "Write a Novel Month" I thought why not? So, I am actually going to give this a shot. I will start doing some research by reading the stories that are already out there. Wish me luck.

Funk

So, I'm in a bit of life funk. Usually, I am too busy to have the time to reflect that I am in a funk, but law school is over and so all bets are off. First, I am not happy with my job. I dont feel I am part of a team. I feel like I am trying to change an entire culture all by myself. On top of that, I should be happy bc just last week I got a big raise without even having to ask for one, but as I've mentioned in my previous blogs: despite my best efforts to the contrary a lot of things come down to comparisons. A new co-worker of mine is younger than me, less experienced than me, and less educated than me and makes $26,000 more than me. For whatever reason, it bugs me to the core. The funny thing is that my salary never really bothered me until I found out what everyone else was making (just one of the perks for working for the government-most salaries are public). I almost wish I didnt know. On top of that, three people told me today, "I don't know how you do it." The answer: I don't know either.

Next, I am not happy with my living situation. I live in a decent apartment that has become less decent in the past few months. There are mysterious stains all over the hallway. I have a creepy neighbor with one roving eye who stalks me and apparently doesnt clean up after his multiple cats bc you can smell them from my apt (even with the door shut). I wake up to shouts of "chug, chug, chug" from my bedroom window every football Saturday. I could go on and on.... Now, I know what you're thinking, don't bitch, switch. I looked into other apartments but they are twice as expensive and many are not as big as my current place. Plus, if I move I want to get a dog and I cant seem to find a nice place that allows them. Moving is always the pits and who wants to deal with the hassle of forwarding mail, setting up internet, etc.

Finally, I am not happy with my spouse situation... mainly I have something called an 'absentee husband.' My husband travels 80% of the year. We mostly see each other on the weekends. I acknowledge that we make a trade-off. Namely, my husband could quit his job and easily get a job here in Madison... but we would take a significant pay-cut not to mention that the long-term career prospects would not be as good.

So, in looking back at my dissatisfaction with my job, home, and husband, I can see why I am in a major funk. So major in fact that I almost adopted a little dog last week. You know you're in a bad place when shopping doesnt even do the trick.